


To Rescue a Man

by Reneeyanceywriter



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, F/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Recovery, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-20 14:17:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21283094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reneeyanceywriter/pseuds/Reneeyanceywriter
Summary: A companion piece to Serial Killer dealing with Jamie's slow recovery from his rape and torture at the hands of BJR. It is quite angsty. LadyMeraud and I appreciate you guys reading and commenting, the kudos. Thank you for sticking with our dark tale. The next one shot on this will be lighter.
Relationships: Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	To Rescue a Man

Dougal gasps at the sight of his nephew, laying broken and bloody on the floor of that dank cell. He quickly wraps him in his tartan and carries him out to the wagon and his wife. He prays the whole way.

Jamie

I am surrounded by darkness, waiting to die. It is alright. I am at peace, knowing that Claire( my own heart) and our lasses, are safe. I am drifting when I hear a muttered curse and feel myself being lifted. The movement stops and I feel coldness on my fevered flesh. 

Oh God, Black Jack wants me clean again. No more! I can handle no more! Then I hear her! My heart. “Jamie, it is me. Your Claire.” Thinking myself dreaming, I let my eyes close and drift off to dreams of her.

Claire

What has that evil man done to my husband? He is beaten and bruised. Bleeding but to dirty to see from where. 

“Murtagh, stop the wagon. I need water to wash him.”

“It will be cold.” He warns even as he does it.

“I know but I need to see where his bleeding is coming from.” I wash him and he tries to fight me off. Murtagh holds him down and I gently talk to him. I am unsure he hears me. As I roll him over to clean his back( a Dhai! His poor back) I see part of the source of bleeding and know he wasn’t just beaten. God help us all!

He sleeps most of the way home

The Duke's men then help him into our room, laying him on the Laird's bed.

Jamie

I am roused again. I exist in darkness and just wish for death. It is denied me as warm water washes over my body. I hear all female voices. There are no lasses at Fort William. I am rolled over. I can't keep from screaming. My mam's voice calms me. She canna be here but my mind pulled her voice when I needed it. I am grateful.

I still have the will to fight against him. I swing out and am grabbed. My wife's voice this time. “ Shh Jamie. You are safe.” But, I am not. She is. Her and the lasses. I hold on to that in the midst of my confusion. I just wish it over. To die.

“Please God and St. Michael, let me die.” I pray in the depth of my mind as I drift back to sleep. 

When I re-wake, I am warm and dry with someone combing my hair out. Mam is there. She lifts a cup to my mouth and I drink. It is warm and tastes of whisky, of whisky from Lallybroch’s distillery. But that isn’t possible.

My back is washed, soothed. I am braced on my side with pillows. A bottle is placed by my cock and I piss without knowing I even had to.

When I wake the next time, I fully wake. Jenny is sitting beside me. “Welcome back brother. Claire will be so happy you are awake.” I sense her, my wife, my heart. I turn and see her at the doorway. She is crying. 

“Don't cry my own.” I think but the words won't come out. All I can do is stare at the wall. She approach’s and sits beside me. She bends down to kiss my forehead. I jerk away. I am to soiled for her touch.

Claire

What did that bastard of a Redcoat do to my husband, my heart? I know of the rape but don't tell the others. He is entitled to keep that secret. But, he won't let me in. 

His mam sees his back and cries. I ask her to leave. I nor Jamie can handle her grief right now. Jenny and I had cleaned him. He needs to heal a bit before I can place salve on it. His mam, calmer, brings some broth mixed with whisky in. It is perfect. His wame can handle it, will start to rebuild his strength, letting him heal, and help him sleep.

After two days, I leave him with Jenny and go rest. I need to remember the bairn I carry. I also spent some time with Faith and Bree. They ask after their da.

“He has had a bad accident. He is getting better. You can see him later.”

“When I return, I see his eyes open but he is silent. I walk to his side, try to kiss him, tell him I love him. He turns away.

“Please look at me.” He does but his eyes are blank. All the light gone. He is trapped in his own head.

Jamie

I am trapped. I can hear her, see her, but can't respond to her. My heart is breaking for her and I. I wish she would just let me go.

My body heals. My back and arse no longer hurt. But, the memories. I canna get past them. I canna pull himself out of the darkness. Even my lasses can't.   
Claire brings them in. I feel their snuggles, hear their giggles. I try to be fully with them. I touch their soft hair but canna speak to them, make eye contact with them.  
Claire is constantly crying. My heart reaches out to her but my mind is still looked up. It is still in that cell with that madman.

She brings our lasses in everyday. After breakfast and before bed, they climb up on the bed beside me. The snuggle and read to me like I used to do for them. I hug them a little but feel a deep ache. I canna longer be their da or their mam's husband.

Claire feeds me and takes me to the privy. Mam sits by me and talks. Jenny does the same, tells me our tenants are helping.

I wish I could tell them to leave me alone. I just want to be left alone to die. But, they are as stubborn as me and won't let me.

Claire

Six months pass. I am huge with my pregnancy. But, Jamie doesn’t notice. He notices nothing. He is still locked in his head. No words come out of his mouth. He just stares. He will pet our daughters but hasn't said a word to them. They miss him. I miss him. When his mam or Jenny is sitting with him, I go into the fields and scream. I scream out my frustration and rage. I then return to nursing my husband and taking care of our lasses while getting close to delivery.

I hold him and kiss him with no response. But, I keep doing it. He will eat on his oen now. Use the privy. But, we still have to wash him and change his clothes. The farther along I get, the harder that is. Eventually, his mam, Jenny, and Ian, take over. He doesn’t comment on the change.

Jamie

One morning, the maid brings in my breakfast instead of Claire. 

“Where is she? Did she finally leave? I canna blame her if she did. I am no husband to her. More a burden. The lasses are more able to help her then I am. I am no longer a man.”

Ian comes in and says I need to head downstairs so they can clean the room. I dinna understand. They have cleaned around me. But, he is not taken nae for an answer. He helps me up and takes me downstairs. He sits me in the living room where I can watch my lasses play outside with their cousins. It is nice to see them thus.

Around three hours later, he helps me back up. I walk into my room and stop in shock. For my Claire lays in the bed, cradling a wee bairn. 

“Jamie, this is your son.” I stumble to the bed and fall at her feet. I look at the boy and the fog that has covered my brain, the web of memories, is lifted. 

“Claire,” my voice is hoarse from disuse,” Claire, I dinna know.”

“I know. I found out the day.. Well, I was going to tell you at dinner that night. Then, well, it was all about healing you.” I see a single tear run down her eye. I take the baby, my son. Looking down at him makes everything clear. 

“Claire, I will lay vengeance at your feet. At his.” I see BJR at the point of my sword. I vow to make it true.

The end.


End file.
